Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Age Before Booty: A Shaggy Dog Story For The Ages

"Dad I'm leaving!"
"Son, I don't care if its the Prom. You better be home before 12:00"
"But Dad it ends at 11:30 and it takes half an hour to get home."
"Son I'm not arguing with you. You have to be home by midnight."
"But Dad I have to take Crystal home and..." his voice trailed off.
"Son. She's 17. Her birthday's not till Wednesday."
"I know but-"
"NO. Son, i've told you before. "Age before booty."
THE END.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Interview Questions

- What's your name? How do you spell it?
- Where were you born?
- Where did you grow up?
- Tell me about family life?
- Did you have any children?
- What was your first job? What did you end up doing as a career?
- What did you make at your first job?
- Tell me about the school/s you attended?
- If you could leave one message to today's youth, what would it be?

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Can you paint with all the colors, of the wind?

Deep and murky, the depths of me, of my soul, froth and simmer, turning about like dirty laundry, brown, brazen, calmly boiling, serenely stirring about,, trapped, restricted. And out of the depths, a lemon bursts free, its spirit soaring high above its prison. "Me! Me!", it shouts, "I am free!"And yellow! So yellow. How could it be so yellow? Its free, free of rhyme, free from time, even with its rhythm and rhyme, the lemon-lime majestically shines. Then, with a soft shiver, the lime quivers in mid-air, sparkles fall to the ground, pink as a panther, smooth as the silkiest pearl. Soft shards of pink build up on the ground, higher and higher, a tower in the sky, in the high heaven of Earth. Slowly the pink darkens, blushes deeply, reddens in anger, in confusions, and with a scream they burst in the air, boldly molding into liquid. Thick and dark the redness gushes down, and settles down serene, screening the sun from view, yet holding the light of that giant star. Calmly the green shines, as around it the sky darkens, crickets chirp, owls screech with starvation, then the green begins to turn, to froth and bubble, to darken, once more, into brown. 

Dear Juicy,

Dear Juicy (A.k.a. Jesse),
I just got your picture! In the mail! I LOVED it! Such a beautiful mayfly! Its blue wings thrust majestically from its sturdy frame. They are so pale and yet so blue! How can they be so blue? its limbs, spindly as dry twigs, protrude from its body, miniature springs that help the mayfly transition to and from flight. Its eyes perfectly round, stare straight at me, so bright and blue. How can they be so blue? Its tail sways downwards, perfectly coiled by Nature's hands. And antennaes four of them, two on top and two on bottom, strands of a hammock swinging in the breeze. Oh Juicy this mayfly reminds me so much of you, and your majestic grace. This mayfly, Jesse, it IS you.