Halloweentown IV, Lost in New York. And by New York, I mean Decatur...

It was a cold, dark, night. Nothing moved, nothing even breathed the quietest whisper - except of course for the hundreds of greedy children dressed in their tacky, scary, lazy, expensive, slutty, and/or cheap costumes, all trying to get as much candy as possible. I fully admit, I was one of them. 

"Hey nice costume!" A boy behind me shouted. I turned in surprise - I hadn't recognized the voice. What I saw was a kid wearing a "scream" mask. This was not frightening at all, but rather mildly annoying. You see, I also had on a "scream" mask. I knew I should never have chosen it. My friends all had extremely unique, creative costumes; a baked potato, the energizer bunny, Dick Cheney, and Janet Jackson. And yes, Janet was being represented by a male. Named Chad. But that's beside the point. The point is, just then I heard another voice from behind me. It was a female voice. She said, "Hey I like your costume!" and she giggled. 

She passed us by just long enough for me to catch a glimpse of the scream mask. I rolled my eyes. This was a bad idea, because now I couldn't see at all. I ripped it off for a second. 

"Hey you don't get any candy cause you're not wearing your costume!" The girl had finished giving all my friends candy, and was intelligently pointing out that my mask no longer covered my face. By intelligently, I mean, extremely annoyingly. I put my mask back on. 

"Trick or treat!" I hated saying it. It was demeaning. But I did NOT hate candy. I the-opposite-of-hated candy. So i said it anyways.

"Ok here you go!" The girl stuck a tootsie-roll in my Kroger bag. I sighed. I hated tootsie-rolls. 

"Yo dude, nice costume." I turned and walked past the guy in the scream mask and back to the road. I looked at my bag. Then I looked at all my friend's bags. This made me slightly upset, because mine was the 2nd smallest bag. You might say, "hey at least its not THE smallest!" but you would not be helping to ease my mood, because Derek didn't really count. Derek was the one with the smallest bag. Derek was a vegan. He did not eat milk chocolate. He only took dark chocolate and candy. So he had a massive disadvantage in the biggest-bag contest. 

Earlier on, the race had been tight between Chad and Jeff, but that was before Jeff emptied an entire plastic pumpkin full of candy into his bag, even including the sign saying, "please take only 1". This had pissed off Chad, who had still not gotten over it. 

"Trick or Treat!" I said to the elderly woman at the door. 

"Trick or Treat!" said Derek, Chad, Jeff, and John, almost at the same time. 

"Trick or Treat!" said the guy behind me wearing a scream mask. 

The lady placed a mini box of raisins in each of our bags. Thats right, a mini box of... RAISINS. She kind of stared us down, daring us to make a comment about her healthy halloween treat. None of us did make a comment about her healthy halloween treat. Except for Chad, but he muttered it under his breath, and she didn't hear him. 

The night was almost over. We were arriving at our final house. We sauntered up the driveway, and there it was. A big box of candy with a sign that sayed, "please take only 2" on the front. Chad looked at Jeff and ran for it. Jeff beat him there again. But just as he put his hand in to grab as much as he could, the box moved. The scarecrow that was holding it was not a scarecrow. It was a man dressed as a scarecrow. Jeff yelped and scampered away, dropping his bag behind him in terror. Chad screamed, but had the presence of mine to pick up Jeff's bag. He was now firmly in the lead in the race for the most candy. 

"Hey nice costume!" said a deep voice behind me. I turned around, threw off my mask, and hurled it into the woods. 

"Thanks," I said passing him by.

It was my last halloween.