It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's... Got a Problem.

I believe I can fly.

I believe I can touch the sky.  

I know that I can fly so high. 

I am Superman. 

I am also an unhappy adolescent. 

I am on anti-depressants. 

I just HATE the smell of Herbal Essence. 

I am Superman. 

Sure I have a bright blue cape. 

But it's got so many holes, it's mostly made of tape. 

The other day I got hit in the head with a grape. 

I am Superman. 

Superman chases down the bad guys,

Superman eats lots of homemade pies. 

Superman gets the girls with the pretty eyes. 

Except for me. Because I am Superman.... with a problem. 

I first learned about it when I was Fifteen. 

While with this one girl named Maureen. 

And at the risk of sounding slightly obscene. 

I am Superman... with a problem. 

I took the Viagra before I got into the shower. 

They said to call the doctor if it lasted four hours. 

After a month it went limp, but I still had my flower.

I am Superman... with a problem. 

They told because I was so super,

Viagra did way TOO much for my little trooper. 

They said I just had to learn to live with my mini-cooper. 

I am Superman... with a problem. 

So I guess I'll have to go on saving the earth. 

And hope my wife can have a virgin birth. 

I pray that life can give me some mirth.

Because I will always be Superman... with a problem.